Sunday, February 22, 2009

Why is it so wrong to be a rag somedays

You know im one person with a multitude of thoughts and feelings. And i feel intitled to get irratated and impatient. Today example colton bit aiden twice, and probably pinched him like 20 times and pushed him countless times. I get soo exasperated!!! I mean i feel bad i have had all the training i would need to deal with these situations i know how to handle them. I heart aiden and i dont want to see him abused by his own brother. I dont know how to make colton better i want to see him be a normal child and communicate with me (whats in his head)!!! That dont make me a bad mommy does it? i want to cry b/c of how much i want my child not to be just another kid with an i.e.p at school, or that he is known to be the bitter. VENTING VENTING...... if i come across crazy good i deserve it....
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5 comments:

  1. kaseyFebruary 26, 2009 at 12:28 AM

    I tried to comment on this two days ago, but it kept "loading". So I am going to try again. I hear you! You are a great mom, not even close to crazy. If these kids could just tell us what they are feeling! I have dreams where Murphy will say something mundane to me, like, "I want a bowl of cereal." Like he's been talking for years and it freaks me out, I wake up so sad.
    Aiden is going to grow up to be one great adult. He is going to be non-judgemental and open and caring, because Colton is teaching him how. That is the one thing that gets me through these kinds of days. Miyo and Miles will hopefully become good human beings because they know about the challenges that people can face.

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  2. AnonymousFebruary 27, 2009 at 9:54 AM

    I love you both. You both are parents to be admired. You face challenges everyday that many people do not and could not ever understand. I am sure that autism must feel like an enemy and frustrate you both tremendously. Especially when it makes your boys act out on their younger siblings. But Kasey is right, understanding early that people face different challenges and that we all need to be compassionate and understanding to the best of our abilities will strengthen and enrich the lives of your other children. I love you Shawna you are my sister. It isn't wrong to get upset or frustrated. Just like everyone you were dealt your hand and making the best of it. I am proud of you everyday. I love you.

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  3. AnonymousFebruary 27, 2009 at 9:56 AM

    Oh and by the way it will be a great bond for Miyo and Aiden when they get married. :)

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  4. shananaMarch 1, 2009 at 4:41 PM

    i love the whole arranged marrage thang this just might be the start of somthing great!!!

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  5. kaseyMarch 2, 2009 at 8:27 PM

    Tell aiden, his wife won't go to bed tonight, and his mother-in-law is sick of it.

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